It baffles me that us women still have to fight and prove our worth to some men, society and other women. It is exhausting to think that in 2019, people cannot differentiate sexual assault from rape yet they find pleasure in shaming victims who survived these crimes.
Before we go any further let me explain what the terms, 'Sexual Assault' and 'Rape,' mean.
The term 'sexual assault' refers to any sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the victim. Some forms of sexual assault include, but are not limited to:
- Attempted rape
- Fondling or unwanted sexual touching
- Forcing a victim to perform sexual acts, such as oral sex, touching, etc.
The term “rape” is often used as a legal definition to a form of sexual assault which includes sexual penetration of a victim without his/her consent. Rape is a form of sexual assault, but not all sexual assault is rape.
How are we still fighting for gender and sexual equality in a very modern world? Mehn, saying ‘I am here and I matter’ all the time, is exhausting. It Is shocking that there are people who still do not believe Rape Culture exists. People still claim this is a phrase made up by feminists to make men look bad, or to make it seem like rape is something that happens far more often than it actually does. In a society as such, how can women like me feel comfortable to bring a girl child into this world where us women cannot even protect ourselves from rape, sexual assault or domestic abuse?
The misogynistic men who call themselves our protectors are the very ones abusing us EVERYDAY. (20 people are a victim of intimate partner violence abuse per minute). The men who are supposed to help us reach our full potential, are damaging us before we even get the chance to start making our own choices. The men who are supposed to be our fathers, brothers, favorite uncles, religious leader, etc. see us as sexual objects. With all of that, they still blame us for their disgusting attitude and for defying us on a daily basis.
Every day there is news of a woman being raped, and many questions always center around what the victim was wearing or doing that might have 'provoked' the attack, the victim's alcohol intake, what time of the day it was, if the victim was alone or why they did not take extra measures to protect themselves from the crime.
There are whole lots of ‘safety tips’ out there for women to follow in order to ‘avoid’ being raped and assaulted but people forget the MEN! Society needs to start holding men accountable for their actions instead of asking us (women) to change our way of dressing, act a certain way when around men, and asking us to also stop doing some of the things we love to do.
Let’s not forget girls and babies as well! Do they need ‘safety tips’ to stop these crimes from happening to them? Do we blame them for being raped or sexually assaulted, even though they have zero knowledge as to why their dad is paying them a visit every night? Do we blame them for being mothers at the age of 8?
When a woman finally gathers the courage to speak up and tell her story of abuse/domestic violence; our sisters, mothers, aunties, and society join these men to shame her for trying to find peace with what 2 in every 3 women has gone through.
Victim shaming is the MAIN reason why it usually takes most victims months, maybe years to speak up!
People need to STOP victim shaming! The media need to start having headlines like; ‘Men stop attacking women.’ You don’t have to walk in the shoes of a victim to know that they are NEVER to be blamed.
Thank you for stopping by.
Pictures of me by: John Arvid Johnsen
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